Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
