At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
