I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Reggie can tackle my bush.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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