yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
how does that bad decision feel?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize