i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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