just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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