THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
