I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
