is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
