theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
My life is pants optional.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
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