Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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