PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
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