I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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