scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
