so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
