I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
