so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Randomize
