At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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