apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
