my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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