i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
We have started to decorate penises.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
