I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
