He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Randomize
