Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
