so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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