I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
