Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
