Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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