If that was your dad, he is hot
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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