I think im going to throw up on grandma
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
And then the night went full on bisexual.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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