my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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