I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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