i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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