ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Randomize
