If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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