We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
