Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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