I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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