After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
