"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
