Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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