I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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