She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
