It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
