he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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