Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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