You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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