paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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