can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
