dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
