i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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