fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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