Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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