You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
