i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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