this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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