chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
