we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
