considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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