its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
