Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
