I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
