Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize