May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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