I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
